apparently not a one-off

Math Class:

My stance on this is a tricky one, but I think I can spell it out. Math Class up until about sixth grade is useful. Math class after that is not. Oh sure, it's useful for some people. Like engineers, or...no, I think that about covers it. At first Math Class is great--you learn to add, to subtract, you learn the multiplication tables, you learn long division. These are real processes, used many times each day. Then around seventh grade everything goes to hell in a handbasket. You move beyond time-saving stuff with practical application into the realm of the ethereal, where numbers are letters and word problems abound. Oh, word problems, those short flights into lunatic fiction, where the process for buying apples is always far, far too complex, and a nation watches as marbles are pulled from bags, their colors a matter of great importance. FOIL, the area of spheres, the precise degrees of fictional triangle corners--these are not things that save time, money, or lives. Each of these is a lie. The further you progress in your math book, the more you are asked to accept the fantasies of madmen. These teachings waste time and brain space. No terrorist is ever going to hold your children at gunpoint, demanding that you find the prime factorization of your own birth year. You do not need to know math to know how much wallpaper to buy. If you don't buy enough, you can return to the store and buy more. If you buy too much, you can throw it away. This is not a crime. Wallpaper is tacky, and the trash is where it belongs anyway.

Math Class: 7/20. Useful for a while. Then, terrible.


Mexican Food:

Let me stop you right there. I don't mean the Mexican food you probably think I mean. I don't mean a sloppy spoonful of meat/beans in a wet tortilla made of corn husk, bought from a stand and wrapped in foil. I mean Americanized Mexican Food, available anywhere in America. I had some yesterday, and it was delicious. First the waiter brought chips and salsa in a basket and bowl, respectively. The chips served to whet my appetite, and the salsa prepped my taste buds for the rich medley of salt, fats, carbs and oils that would make up the sumptuous banquet. The drinks were brought promptly. A margarita or "Mexican" beer such as Corona or Tecate is usually preferred, though a domestic draft or regular soft drink is also acceptable. Orders are placed, and the food is brought quickly. There's a real element of being hustled in and out at most Mexican restaurants I've been to. Not sure why. Maybe they don't want you to eat too many chips. Or maybe Mexicans, as a people, hate me. Regardless, the food is usually still sizzling when it arrives, and the smell and look of it are appetizing in the extreme. Sauces and cheese mix, palette-like, and the whole of the dish is usually spotted with rouge lettuce and tomatoes. Then, that first bite. I wish I could say that every bite is as good as the first, but we deal in the truth here. Mexican food gets progressively worse as you eat it. The flavorful ecstasy soon becomes a chore, the food filling your throat as your stomach overflows, your mouth an oily cavern. But you must power through. Leaving food on your plate at a Mexican restaurant is unforgivably rude. This, combined with the typical vast volume of food and the aforementioned hustling usually results in a sickening "race for the finish," ruining the meal and the evening in general. Money is left on the table, more at the register, as you totter off to your car. Later, you will fart and have diarrhea. But you will be back. Unknown to many, Mexican food contains a powerful amnesiac that causes eaters to forget all but the first delicious bites.

Mexican Food: 12/20. Those first bites are almost worth it.